Ah well.

Welcome to the real world.

Why I Need the Lifestyle Change…

My hair's falling off again. It's still thin. I'm not sure about how capable I will be about regrowing anything.

I'm getting chubby around the stomach yet again.

My doctor might give up on me.

I REALLY am afraid of more serious complications.

After stuffing my face with tons of chocnut earlier (I could easily have had finished more than a pack the past couple of days, in addition to the cake and all those other carbs-sources and white rice!), I realized I was back to my midnight eating. Not good.

If I refuse to begin eating healthy again, the least I can do is get some control over when I eat and what I eat. No more regular softdrinks for me! Also, no more midnight eating. The eating healthy part can wait. I just have to reach a stable area first!

Immediate Summer Goals

• get a job to make money
• find a thesis advisor asap
• find a place to volunteer in
• write SOMETHING. ANYTHING.
• type up that article for chicken soup
• relearn French: Je voudrais apprendre francais.

P.S. I bought a cute pair of brown suede boots. I love 'em! Bought 'em on sale!

Monday’s Dinner

Salpicao was a success despite the adjustments I had to make. Since we went to No Frills (The prices at this supermarket are cheaper for a reason — VERY LITTLE CHOICE.), I had to settle with what ingredients I found there. I needed tenderloin and I ended up with tough cuts of stewing beef. That kind of cut needs longer cooking time so I had to settle with medium rare for some batches. Bummer.

I made some changes with this blog…

I wonder if I should undo them.

Bummer

My meds and the stuff I eat just don't agree. For the third time in the last three weeks, I was so nauseated I thought I was going to either collapse or hurl — and as usual I was in the bus..Then in the subway, I kinda regained some control. When we got to my station though, I was ready to give up trying to control myself. Luckily, I was able to hold it in until I got to the bathroom — minimum damage.

Hrmm…

I don't want to give up my Met.

Let’s Go Raptors!

It's sure! The Toronto Raptors are IN the NBA Play-Offs! The season's not done yet, but we're a shoo-in already. Whee!

Sunday Meal

The meal I cooked was work that I was famished after cooking it. In any event, it was a success. I tweaked the recipes so much though that I can say they're really my recipes!

I made… Beef with mushroom sauce, hot potato salad, and white rice. With a bottle of pop, the whole menu made for a special Sunday dinner.

Tomorrow, salpicao and roasted veggies!

Metformin

As predicted, I am no longer aware of my PCOS. I don't eat with it in mind (as evidenced by my Timmy's Iced Cap and double chocolate donut), and I just remembered to take my morning batch of pills just now…It's 7:32 pm. LOL! I guess I skipped again.

Remember Art Bell?

There was this e-mail circulating around the internet which allegedly claimed Art Bell made racist comments about the Philippines. If you guys haven't read about it yet, this might be news to you.

Art Bell didn't say those things.

How can I prove that he didn't, or that he doesn't feel that way about Filipinos?

He married a Filipina and they're expecting.

The poor guy still gets threats!

Prisons in the Philippines

If I had money right now, I would expand the prison facilities in the Philippines, improve the rehabilitation programs and services, and build a new juvenile detention center.

My original dream if I had never left the Philippines was to become a juvenile lawyer. Not gonna happen though. Canadian kids have enough lawyers serving them here, to be sure, and their detention facilities probably look a lot nicer than the homes of the people back home!

The status of the Philippine prisons:

• young kids are kept in with hardened criminals — leads to worse criminal behaviors and high rates of sexual abuse/molestation
• overcrowding — leading to a high death rate from lack of oxygen and prolonged levels of stress
• prisoners fight for their food and their space
• slow bureaucratic process — a 2-month sentence can extend to a 2 year detention if you don't have the money to speed the courts and the clerks up
• corruption within the prison authorities
• low guards: prisoners ration
• inadequate facilities and care

The first step, I think, is to build a separate prison for juveniles. Stop the molestation! Stop the cycle! I dunno… The kids make a mistake, they still have a chance to change. The moment they stay in the prisons in the Philippines, they turn either hardened or too abused to be helped.

I told my Dad to ask M. Villar about what the government plans to do about it, orif they're even doing anything about it. I doubt my Dad will ask it though. He's not the kind to ripple the waters.

Pinoy Food through the Eyes of a Brit

This is an e-mail forward somebody posted in his/her blog. Found it via Google!
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Toronto vs. Cleveland

10 minutes left in the fourth quarter and the Cavaliers are leading over the Raptors by 20 points.  This is frustrating.

Gathering an Audience

I've never met with much success with other blogs.  My livejournal, at least, has a steady audience of other LJ-ers, but any public blog isn't too successful.  You have to be interesting enough for them.  My boyfriend (no surprise there) is pretty interesting, considering how unpersonal his blogs tend to be.

Ah well.  We'll see.  If I gather a big enough audience, I shall maintain this.  If not, I will retreat to my previous friends-only or private blogs.

The Beginning

Today, I spent the day in my purple satin nightshirt, unaware of time.  I woke to Marc's message on Y!M, only to drift in and out of sleep for another two hours.  When I finally managed to force myself out of bed, it was 2pm.  A feat, considering I never arise til 5pm once I've decided I'll be skipping class.

Third time in one week.

I wonder sometimes if I am capable of returning to school.  I'm am horribly disillusioned about the whole thing.   The courses no longer interest me, and my goals seem pretentious and unfulfillling.

Why do I study?  To get a job.  Why do I need a job?  To make money.  Why do I need money?  To make things happen.

And that major question: Why psychology?

My parents seem to think that I should aim for the human resources sector.  I have zero interest in human resources.  That would be a problem.

I seem to be working towards a masters in psychology one day.  That is hilarious.  I have no use for it for I no longer wish to practice it.  My heart is no longer in it.  I only consider it because it might serve as a good and profitable career one day, and my future hubby and I need the money.

Let's face it though.  What do I really want to do?  I want to have children, take care of our home, write books when I've finished the chores at home, and handle the affairs of my orphanage (a masters in social work might be serviceable in this circumstance).  Yes, I want an orphanage.

But the money?  What about the money?

 Ah yes.  The money.